Getting Over a Breakup Is Like Getting Over Cocaine

via Most Popular Entries on HuffingtonPost by Adoree Durayappah, M.A.P.P., M.B.A. on 2/23/11

Raise your hand if you've never heard any of the following lines, in one form or another:

Let's be friends.

I think we should see other people.

It's not you. It's me.

I just don't love you anymore.

If you've finished reading this list and your hand is raised, please bring it down to face level. Cup your hand to your cheek. Pull it back three to five inches, and, traveling at an increased velocity, slap yourself firmly on the face. Why? If you haven't experienced rejection from a breakup, this exercise serves as a simulation of what rejection feels like. Actually, a slap in the face is much more pleasant than rejection.

Chances are, though, you didn't raise your hand. I'm willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you are, unfortunately, familiar with the pain of rejection from a breakup.

Rejection Is Physiologically Heart-Breaking

"Rejection" comes from Latin, meaning thrown back. When we are rejected, we feel not only halted, but pushed back in the opposite direction of which we were headed. Now consider this: When rejected, how do we describe the event? We tend to say, "I was rejected." Notice what is going on here. We are using passive voice. This indicates how we feel about the part we play in rejection. We view ourselves as passive, as being the victim of an action, as inactive, as non-participative.

Well, studies have found that after rejection not only do we think passively, but also we act passively. Scientists from the University of Amsterdam found that unexpected social rejection is associated with a significant response of the parasympathetic nervous system. Let's take a quick time-out to discuss just what the heck is the parasympathetic nervous system. When the body is active, generally in fight or flight mode, the sympathetic system engages, heart rate quickens, pupils dilate and energy is directed towards allowing the body to react quickly. However, the parasympathetic system is responsible for when the body is at rest.

When faced with unexpected rejection, research has found that "feeling that you are not liked" results in our heart rate actually slowing down, an activity of the parasympathetic nervous system. Thus, feeling rejected results in you reacting both psychologically and physically. It is interesting to mention that in this study, participants' heart rates fell not only when they heard a person's unfavorable opinion of them, but also in anticipation of hearing a person's opinion. If told that the person's opinion of him or her was unfavorable, the individual's heart rate plummeted even further and took longer to return to baseline. Additionally, heart rates slowed even more when individuals expected a positive opinion, but received a negative one. This explains how rejection, especially the kind that blindsides you, literally feels heartbreaking.

We Are Hard-Wired to Fear Rejection

As human beings, we are extremely sensitive to rejection -- especially forms of social rejection. We have a strong motivation to seek approval and acceptance. If we take an anthropological perspective, we can see how back in the day -- I'm talking about back in 10,000 B.C. -- you knew that if you were on your own, your chance of survival was nil. You needed your tribe for food, shelter and protection. Being rejected from others meant imminent death. Evolutionarily speaking, we are hardwired to form relationships and strongly motivated to feel liked and feel like we belong.

Getting Over a Breakup Is Like Getting Over Cocaine

Five out of five neurologists agree: Rejection sucks! And arguably, the worst type of rejection is romantic rejection. Getting over a breakup is like getting over an addiction to cocaine. That isn't just my personal viewpoint; it is also the opinion and the scientific finding of researchers at Stony Brook University. The researchers found that the area of the brain that is active during the pain and anguish experienced during a breakup is the same part of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings. Brain imaging shows similarities between romantic rejection and cocaine craving. Rejection hurts so acutely because we get addicted to the relationship, only to have it taken away from us. And after, just like a drug addiction, we go through withdrawal.

We Aren't That Good at Dealing With Loss

In general, humans aren't good with dealing with loss. The pain of losing something is much stronger than the joy of gaining something. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman received the Nobel Prize for his work in Prospect Theory. Prospect Theory describes how people make choices in situations where they have to decide between alternatives that involve risk. For example, individuals view the pain of losing $50 as much stronger than the joy of receiving $50. What this means as far as rejection is concerned is that ending a relationship can often hurt much more than the joy of starting a new one. This is because of the psychological fact that our brains view loss as more significant than gain.

Because loss feels stronger than gain, we tend to be loss averse, meaning we will be motivated to avoid risks that involve losing rather than to take risks involved in the potential for gains. Thus, after a breakup, we often say, "That's it for me! No more relationships." We want to avoid the risk of losing, even though there could be a chance for true love.

The More We Fail, the More the Goal Seems Insurmountable

Studies have indicated that as the frequency of rejection increases, the more insurmountable our goal appears to be. Psychologist Jessica Witt at Purdue University found that after a series of missed field goal kicks, players perceived the field post to be taller and narrower than before. However, after a series of successful kicks, athletes reported that the post appeared larger than before. It is easy to witness the power of rejection. The more we encounter rejection and the more we view our efforts as pointless, the less we try and the farther away true love seems.

Breakups and rejections suck! And now science can tell us why. Rejection from a breakup feels heartbreaking and overwhelming because, physiologically, it is.


References:

Bregtje Gunther Moor, Eveline A. Crone, Maurits W. van der Molen. The Heartbrake of Social Rejection: Heart Rate Deceleration in Response to Unexpected Peer Rejection. Psychological Science, 2010; DOI:10.1177/0956797610379236

H. E. Fisher, L. L. Brown, A. Aron, G. Strong, D. Mashek. Reward, Addiction, and Emotion Regulation Systems Associated with Rejection in Love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 2010; DOI: 10.1152/jn.00784.2009

Schwartz, Barry (2004). Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Witt, J. K, & Dorsch, T. (2009). Kicking to bigger uprights: Field goal kicking performance influences perceived size. Perception 38: 1328-1340 DOI:10.1068/p6325.

***

Adoree Durayappah, M.A.P.P., M.B.A., is a writer and psychologist with an addiction to academia. Her passion is helping people understand themselves better by bringing academic research into the public domain in an entertaining and relevant fashion. You can learn more at AdoreeDurayappah.com.

Getting Over a Breakup Is Like Getting Over Cocaine

via Most Popular Entries on HuffingtonPost by Adoree Durayappah, M.A.P.P., M.B.A. on 2/23/11

Raise your hand if you've never heard any of the following lines, in one form or another:

Let's be friends.

I think we should see other people.

It's not you. It's me.

I just don't love you anymore.

If you've finished reading this list and your hand is raised, please bring it down to face level. Cup your hand to your cheek. Pull it back three to five inches, and, traveling at an increased velocity, slap yourself firmly on the face. Why? If you haven't experienced rejection from a breakup, this exercise serves as a simulation of what rejection feels like. Actually, a slap in the face is much more pleasant than rejection.

Chances are, though, you didn't raise your hand. I'm willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you are, unfortunately, familiar with the pain of rejection from a breakup.

Rejection Is Physiologically Heart-Breaking

"Rejection" comes from Latin, meaning thrown back. When we are rejected, we feel not only halted, but pushed back in the opposite direction of which we were headed. Now consider this: When rejected, how do we describe the event? We tend to say, "I was rejected." Notice what is going on here. We are using passive voice. This indicates how we feel about the part we play in rejection. We view ourselves as passive, as being the victim of an action, as inactive, as non-participative.

Well, studies have found that after rejection not only do we think passively, but also we act passively. Scientists from the University of Amsterdam found that unexpected social rejection is associated with a significant response of the parasympathetic nervous system. Let's take a quick time-out to discuss just what the heck is the parasympathetic nervous system. When the body is active, generally in fight or flight mode, the sympathetic system engages, heart rate quickens, pupils dilate and energy is directed towards allowing the body to react quickly. However, the parasympathetic system is responsible for when the body is at rest.

When faced with unexpected rejection, research has found that "feeling that you are not liked" results in our heart rate actually slowing down, an activity of the parasympathetic nervous system. Thus, feeling rejected results in you reacting both psychologically and physically. It is interesting to mention that in this study, participants' heart rates fell not only when they heard a person's unfavorable opinion of them, but also in anticipation of hearing a person's opinion. If told that the person's opinion of him or her was unfavorable, the individual's heart rate plummeted even further and took longer to return to baseline. Additionally, heart rates slowed even more when individuals expected a positive opinion, but received a negative one. This explains how rejection, especially the kind that blindsides you, literally feels heartbreaking.

We Are Hard-Wired to Fear Rejection

As human beings, we are extremely sensitive to rejection -- especially forms of social rejection. We have a strong motivation to seek approval and acceptance. If we take an anthropological perspective, we can see how back in the day -- I'm talking about back in 10,000 B.C. -- you knew that if you were on your own, your chance of survival was nil. You needed your tribe for food, shelter and protection. Being rejected from others meant imminent death. Evolutionarily speaking, we are hardwired to form relationships and strongly motivated to feel liked and feel like we belong.

Getting Over a Breakup Is Like Getting Over Cocaine

Five out of five neurologists agree: Rejection sucks! And arguably, the worst type of rejection is romantic rejection. Getting over a breakup is like getting over an addiction to cocaine. That isn't just my personal viewpoint; it is also the opinion and the scientific finding of researchers at Stony Brook University. The researchers found that the area of the brain that is active during the pain and anguish experienced during a breakup is the same part of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings. Brain imaging shows similarities between romantic rejection and cocaine craving. Rejection hurts so acutely because we get addicted to the relationship, only to have it taken away from us. And after, just like a drug addiction, we go through withdrawal.

We Aren't That Good at Dealing With Loss

In general, humans aren't good with dealing with loss. The pain of losing something is much stronger than the joy of gaining something. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman received the Nobel Prize for his work in Prospect Theory. Prospect Theory describes how people make choices in situations where they have to decide between alternatives that involve risk. For example, individuals view the pain of losing $50 as much stronger than the joy of receiving $50. What this means as far as rejection is concerned is that ending a relationship can often hurt much more than the joy of starting a new one. This is because of the psychological fact that our brains view loss as more significant than gain.

Because loss feels stronger than gain, we tend to be loss averse, meaning we will be motivated to avoid risks that involve losing rather than to take risks involved in the potential for gains. Thus, after a breakup, we often say, "That's it for me! No more relationships." We want to avoid the risk of losing, even though there could be a chance for true love.

The More We Fail, the More the Goal Seems Insurmountable

Studies have indicated that as the frequency of rejection increases, the more insurmountable our goal appears to be. Psychologist Jessica Witt at Purdue University found that after a series of missed field goal kicks, players perceived the field post to be taller and narrower than before. However, after a series of successful kicks, athletes reported that the post appeared larger than before. It is easy to witness the power of rejection. The more we encounter rejection and the more we view our efforts as pointless, the less we try and the farther away true love seems.

Breakups and rejections suck! And now science can tell us why. Rejection from a breakup feels heartbreaking and overwhelming because, physiologically, it is.


References:

Bregtje Gunther Moor, Eveline A. Crone, Maurits W. van der Molen. The Heartbrake of Social Rejection: Heart Rate Deceleration in Response to Unexpected Peer Rejection. Psychological Science, 2010; DOI:10.1177/0956797610379236

H. E. Fisher, L. L. Brown, A. Aron, G. Strong, D. Mashek. Reward, Addiction, and Emotion Regulation Systems Associated with Rejection in Love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 2010; DOI: 10.1152/jn.00784.2009

Schwartz, Barry (2004). Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Witt, J. K, & Dorsch, T. (2009). Kicking to bigger uprights: Field goal kicking performance influences perceived size. Perception 38: 1328-1340 DOI:10.1068/p6325.

***

Adoree Durayappah, M.A.P.P., M.B.A., is a writer and psychologist with an addiction to academia. Her passion is helping people understand themselves better by bringing academic research into the public domain in an entertaining and relevant fashion. You can learn more at AdoreeDurayappah.com.

Getting Over a Breakup Is Like Getting Over Cocaine

via Most Popular Entries on HuffingtonPost by Adoree Durayappah, M.A.P.P., M.B.A. on 2/23/11

Raise your hand if you've never heard any of the following lines, in one form or another:

Let's be friends.

I think we should see other people.

It's not you. It's me.

I just don't love you anymore.

If you've finished reading this list and your hand is raised, please bring it down to face level. Cup your hand to your cheek. Pull it back three to five inches, and, traveling at an increased velocity, slap yourself firmly on the face. Why? If you haven't experienced rejection from a breakup, this exercise serves as a simulation of what rejection feels like. Actually, a slap in the face is much more pleasant than rejection.

Chances are, though, you didn't raise your hand. I'm willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you are, unfortunately, familiar with the pain of rejection from a breakup.

Rejection Is Physiologically Heart-Breaking

"Rejection" comes from Latin, meaning thrown back. When we are rejected, we feel not only halted, but pushed back in the opposite direction of which we were headed. Now consider this: When rejected, how do we describe the event? We tend to say, "I was rejected." Notice what is going on here. We are using passive voice. This indicates how we feel about the part we play in rejection. We view ourselves as passive, as being the victim of an action, as inactive, as non-participative.

Well, studies have found that after rejection not only do we think passively, but also we act passively. Scientists from the University of Amsterdam found that unexpected social rejection is associated with a significant response of the parasympathetic nervous system. Let's take a quick time-out to discuss just what the heck is the parasympathetic nervous system. When the body is active, generally in fight or flight mode, the sympathetic system engages, heart rate quickens, pupils dilate and energy is directed towards allowing the body to react quickly. However, the parasympathetic system is responsible for when the body is at rest.

When faced with unexpected rejection, research has found that "feeling that you are not liked" results in our heart rate actually slowing down, an activity of the parasympathetic nervous system. Thus, feeling rejected results in you reacting both psychologically and physically. It is interesting to mention that in this study, participants' heart rates fell not only when they heard a person's unfavorable opinion of them, but also in anticipation of hearing a person's opinion. If told that the person's opinion of him or her was unfavorable, the individual's heart rate plummeted even further and took longer to return to baseline. Additionally, heart rates slowed even more when individuals expected a positive opinion, but received a negative one. This explains how rejection, especially the kind that blindsides you, literally feels heartbreaking.

We Are Hard-Wired to Fear Rejection

As human beings, we are extremely sensitive to rejection -- especially forms of social rejection. We have a strong motivation to seek approval and acceptance. If we take an anthropological perspective, we can see how back in the day -- I'm talking about back in 10,000 B.C. -- you knew that if you were on your own, your chance of survival was nil. You needed your tribe for food, shelter and protection. Being rejected from others meant imminent death. Evolutionarily speaking, we are hardwired to form relationships and strongly motivated to feel liked and feel like we belong.

Getting Over a Breakup Is Like Getting Over Cocaine

Five out of five neurologists agree: Rejection sucks! And arguably, the worst type of rejection is romantic rejection. Getting over a breakup is like getting over an addiction to cocaine. That isn't just my personal viewpoint; it is also the opinion and the scientific finding of researchers at Stony Brook University. The researchers found that the area of the brain that is active during the pain and anguish experienced during a breakup is the same part of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings. Brain imaging shows similarities between romantic rejection and cocaine craving. Rejection hurts so acutely because we get addicted to the relationship, only to have it taken away from us. And after, just like a drug addiction, we go through withdrawal.

We Aren't That Good at Dealing With Loss

In general, humans aren't good with dealing with loss. The pain of losing something is much stronger than the joy of gaining something. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman received the Nobel Prize for his work in Prospect Theory. Prospect Theory describes how people make choices in situations where they have to decide between alternatives that involve risk. For example, individuals view the pain of losing $50 as much stronger than the joy of receiving $50. What this means as far as rejection is concerned is that ending a relationship can often hurt much more than the joy of starting a new one. This is because of the psychological fact that our brains view loss as more significant than gain.

Because loss feels stronger than gain, we tend to be loss averse, meaning we will be motivated to avoid risks that involve losing rather than to take risks involved in the potential for gains. Thus, after a breakup, we often say, "That's it for me! No more relationships." We want to avoid the risk of losing, even though there could be a chance for true love.

The More We Fail, the More the Goal Seems Insurmountable

Studies have indicated that as the frequency of rejection increases, the more insurmountable our goal appears to be. Psychologist Jessica Witt at Purdue University found that after a series of missed field goal kicks, players perceived the field post to be taller and narrower than before. However, after a series of successful kicks, athletes reported that the post appeared larger than before. It is easy to witness the power of rejection. The more we encounter rejection and the more we view our efforts as pointless, the less we try and the farther away true love seems.

Breakups and rejections suck! And now science can tell us why. Rejection from a breakup feels heartbreaking and overwhelming because, physiologically, it is.


References:

Bregtje Gunther Moor, Eveline A. Crone, Maurits W. van der Molen. The Heartbrake of Social Rejection: Heart Rate Deceleration in Response to Unexpected Peer Rejection. Psychological Science, 2010; DOI:10.1177/0956797610379236

H. E. Fisher, L. L. Brown, A. Aron, G. Strong, D. Mashek. Reward, Addiction, and Emotion Regulation Systems Associated with Rejection in Love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 2010; DOI: 10.1152/jn.00784.2009

Schwartz, Barry (2004). Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Witt, J. K, & Dorsch, T. (2009). Kicking to bigger uprights: Field goal kicking performance influences perceived size. Perception 38: 1328-1340 DOI:10.1068/p6325.

***

Adoree Durayappah, M.A.P.P., M.B.A., is a writer and psychologist with an addiction to academia. Her passion is helping people understand themselves better by bringing academic research into the public domain in an entertaining and relevant fashion. You can learn more at AdoreeDurayappah.com.

Sex.com Now The World's Most Expensive Domain Name, According To Guinness

Well Why not!

via Most Popular Entries on HuffingtonPost by Catharine Smith on 2/22/11

Apparently, sex not only sells but also sets records.

Guinness World Records, now officially recognizes Sex.com as the "most expensive internet address domain name."

In November 2010, Sex.com was auctioned off for a sizzling $13 million, making it the world's priciest domain name, TechCrunch reports.

Germany-based domain name marketplace Sedo.com negotiated the deal between Escom, Sex.com's former owner, and Clover Holdings. "We're honored that Sedo was trusted with such a high-value and high-profile sale, and we're ecstatic that it is now being recognized by Guinness World Records as a record-breaking deal," Sedo sales director Kathy Nielsen told TechRadar UK.

In the past, Sedo has also brokered big-ticket deals for the likes of Vodka.com and Pizza.com, TechRadar writes.

TechCrunch points out that, since November, a private domain sale may have trumped Sex.com's $13 million deal. But, for now, the Guinness record will stand.

Take a look at some more of the world's most expensive domain names, as ranked in early 2010.

New MacBook Pro Release Gets Official: See The Specs (PHOTOS)

via Most Popular Entries on HuffingtonPost by Bianca Bosker on 2/24/11

Apple has officially unveiled its new line of MacBook Pro computers.

Apple claims the new machines, which include FaceTime HD cameras with "triple the resolution of the previous generation," Intel Sandy Bridge Core i5 and i7 processors, and Thunderbolt I/O technology, are "up to twice as fast" as their predecessors.

The new line of MacBook Pros will be available in three sizes: 13-inch ($1,199 and up), 15-inch model ($1,799 and up), and 17-inch ($2,499).

Apple offers more details on the specs:
The 13-inch MacBook Pro is available in two configurations: one with a 2.3 GHz Dual-Core Intel Core i5 and 320GB hard drive starting at $1,199; and one with a 2.7 GHz Dual-Core Intel Core i5 and 500GB hard drive starting at $1,499. The new 15-inch MacBook Pro is available in two models: one with a 2.0 GHz Quad-Core Intel Core i7, AMD Radeon HD 6490M and 500GB hard drive starting at $1,799 and one with a 2.2 GHz Quad-Core Intel Core i7, AMD Radeon HD 6750M and 750GB hard drive starting at $2,199. The new 17-inch MacBook Pro features a 2.2 GHz Quad-Core Intel Core i7, AMD Radeon HD 6750M and 750GB hard drive and is priced at $2,499.

The new MacBook Pros are currently available for purchase on Apple.com, as well as in stores.

Shawn Kemp Calls Blake Griffin's Car Dunk 'Weak'

via Most Popular Entries on HuffingtonPost by Michael Klopman on 2/23/11

Blake Griffin jumped over a car and threw down an alley-oop dunk to win the 2011 Dunk Contest over the weekend. However, former NBA player and dunking sensation Shawn Kemp didn't think much of it.

The 41-year-old joined KJR in Seattle with Dave Mahler and Ian Furness on Wednesday and called Griffin's final dunk "weak."

"I'm a big Blake Griffin fan, but that dunk at the contest might've been the weakest dunk in the dunk contest that I've seen in a long time," Kemp said. "I love the choir and all that stuff was great, but you at least gotta jump over the car though right."

Kemp also said that he could jump over a car.

"I'm 41 years old and right now I could do it. Two Smart Cars," he said.

The interview was transcribed by Sports Radio Interviews and you can listen to the entire segment here.

ShotOut to @Wale @rickyroza @splifftvfilms @drefilms = ProminetReverence #DMV

via Nah Right by nation on 2/6/11

The welcome Wale to the family edition.

Rozay also confirms “bidding war” rumors, does a meet-and-greet at Macy’s (bawse sighting @ 2:18) and has his jeweler come through to hit off Wale with a signing bonus.

“Same music, better energy” – Wale

Day 1 blog here.

Video: Lil Wayne Talks “Green & Yellow” on ESPN’s First Take

via Nah Right by eskay on 2/4/11

“Let’s be honest about this, this young upstart who did “Black & Yellow” is not in Wayne’s league…” #SkipBaylessShotsFired@Wiz

Weezy checks in with Skip and them on ESPN’s First Take. He speaks on his Packers fight song and whether or not it’s gonna backfire and end up firing up the Steelers, and why he roots for the Pack rather than the ‘Aints.

Previously: Lil Wayne vs. Skip Bayless