VERY HAPPY TO REBLOG: Dear Comcast, I Motherf*cking Hate You

via Very Smart Brothas by Panama Jackson on 10/9/12

[This is not a post. This is a cry for help, perhaps. Or a way for me to vent to tons of people at once. Or more likely, a way for somebody to say what so many people want to say to a company that obviously gives no f*cks. So f*ck them. I hope this somehow ends up in their corporate office. The vitriol is real.]

Dear Comcast,

I think that you are the worst run and most incompetent company in America. Which is saying something because I live in Washington, DC, home of Pepco, which is often rated as one of the least-liked companies in America. Comcast, you make me think of Pepco as a wonderful entity because they provide me light. And electricity that I partake of to use your service which would be fine if it wasn’t for the ignoramuses you have employed with your company. I hate your company so much that I’ve entertained the thought of drilling holes through my lovely home JUST so that I could sign up for Verizon/DirectTV and sign my life away to a contract. I just may call them and offer my eternal allegiance to them just so that I don’t have to use your service. Robert Johnson is alleged to have sold his soul to the devil in order for this exemplary bluesman talents.

Well, I have no talents. But you motherf*ckers have what I need. A check for $129.40 that you all have been “sending” to me for the past two months. Where did we go wrong, Comcast? Where did we go wrong.

Lucky for you, I’m going to tell you, you petulant and indignant bastards.

It all started in June of 2012. This is when I moved out of my apartment and into my new home. On June 26, 2012, I cancelled my service with you all. It was on this date that I returned my equipment (one HD-DVR box and one digital box along with 2 remotes and a cable modem) to your location on Michigan Avenue, NE, in Washington, DC. You know the one, the one where nobody can quite figure out how to get there unless you accidentally make a turn you think is illegal until you realize that holy sh*t, THIS is how I get back there?? Yeah that one under the Metro tracks.

Comcast, I like Metro more than you and, again, in DC, that’s saying something. There are entire websites and Twitter feeds dedicated to how much WMATA’s Metro sucks. And I’d wine and dine Metro and suck her toes and whisper sweet nothings that mean a whole lot of something in her ear JUST for the chance to boot your company to the moon. Moving on.

After returning all my equipment – on that date – I provided my new address to your employee who informed me that because I’d just paid my bill, I was entitled to a refund seeing as you pay in advance for cable service.

Aw. That’s nice. I like refunds. Ask the IRS. I like them more than you too and they TAKE my money. F*ck you.

Anyway, I’m informed that I should receive my check for my refund in about 6-8 weeks. Okay. No problem. Thank you lady at the Comcast center. That is June 26, 2012.

Well, at my new home I attempted to get DirectTV but was informed that I’d have to drill holes in my nice new walls since the front of my home faces away from where the dish would need to face. Fiddlesticks. Since my new home is pre-wired, I figured why do that to the walls who have done nothing to me. Despite what would have been about $130/month in savings I called you, Comcast, back, to establish service. This is in July of course. The day you all were supposed to come out and install my service, you informed me that you couldn’t. Since I was the first person to move into this particular block of houses, you all had not come to tap the line or whatever jargon you all use, which means that I’d need to wait until that was done before I could set up another appointment to get service installed.

That’s not your fault, I don’t think. Or at least I’m giving you a mulligan on that one.

You came, you saw, you conquered. I set up another appointment to get my service installed and the gentleman shows up, installs the service. That was nice of him. He came within the 2 hour window you prescribed. I’m only telling you this to point out that I realize all of your employees don’t sh*t the bed. But I called you all back out to get another television hooked up. I had a 330-530pm window.

He didn’t show. I call and I’m informed that they have no idea why the dude didn’t show up nor why he didn’t call but I was given a $30 credit.

Oh, heavens me. I forgot one vital point of my initial set up of service. When I spoke to the customer service rep, he informed me that I’d get a $100 credit for signing up that day. I called to verify a few days later and not only was I told that I wasn’t going to get that credit, they had no clue what I was talking about. Oh dear me. These fools tell me that they have to go back and listen to the tape to see if I was indeed offered that credit. Which they did and I was. They apologized for that mistake.

It is now, August and I receive a bill from my old place. What I think is a check is a bill for something like $400. It’s August remember. I shut my service off in June. So I politely call to inquire as to why I’d be receiving a bill at a residence I no longer maintain for service that was shut off over a month ago. According to the woman on the phone, sometimes they pre-issue bills.

Huh? What the f*ck does that mean? Why would you do that. I shut my service off in June and you ran me a tab for July anyway? Why does this make sense. Actually, who gives a f*ck, could you please take care of it.

Her reply? Well, sir, I think you should go ahead and pay the bill and IF WE OWE YOU A REFUND, WE’LL SEND IT TO YOU.

Scrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

So let me get this right. You want me to pay for service that I didn’t use, at a place I no longer live, for an account that I shut down over a month ago…and IF YOU OWE ME A REFUND, YOU’LL SEND IT TO ME??? This makes sense to you?

Her: Sir, I realize it may sound a little odd, but that’s my recommendation.

Me: Ma’am, I need you to say that out loud to me. What you just told me to do. I need you to say it, in that order THEN tell me it makes sense coming from your mouth. You see where I closed the account right?

Her: Yes sir, and I understand, but that’s the only way to avoid going to collection.

Me: (at this point, I’ve reached boiling point, extinction level event) You’re threatening my credit right now when you all are the ones who have TOTALLY screwed up here? And you want me to wait for a refund? Wait…you all ALREADY OWE me a refund on this account. Can you see it?

This is August remember, still short of my 6-8 week timeframe, but August.

Her: No sir, it shows here that you owe us $400.

Me: Yo, there is no way in f*ck I’m paying that money when YOU have proof in your system that I closed the account.

We went back and forth, Comcast, for a few minutes on this one with her finally telling me that she understood my pain since she herself had trouble with her Comcast account when she moved. Hmm, f*cking your own employees over are you?

Well, I called back a week later and that was all straightened out and I received a notice in the mail saying that I was owed my refund of $129.40.

Well, maybe around the 15th of August, I placed a phone call to your wonderful company to inquire about my refund. You know, its status and where it was. I really wish I had all of these employees names. I truly do. Because some of the people I spoke to were about as bright as Allen in The Hangovers I and II. Well, this first chap I, after about 20 minutes of going back and forth, initially told me that there was no record of my refund, but THEN informed me that it had been sent out July 30.

He said it was sent to my old address and if I haven’t received maybe the post office realized it was a check and didn’t want to forward that to my new address so they sent it back to Comcast so that they could re-issue me a new one.

That’s what he said. He ACTUALLY said this to me. I wasn’t aware that the mail handlers were clairvoyant OR had the authority to check to see if they were sending checks through the mail then send them back to Comcast since they knew I moved and didn’t want anybody else to get my check. Aww. That was nice.

This fool asked me to wait a little bit longer. So I did. I waited until about September 7th. When I called your illustrious company again and had another 45 minute conversation with a CSR and a manager who informed me that my check was indeed sent out on July 30th and she’s sorry it hadn’t made it to me, but noted my correct new address and informed me a new check would be sent out immediately.

Stop me if you know where this is going, Mr. Comcast.

Sure enough, LAST Monday I placed ANOTHER call to your call center, this time in Mexico where I spoke with Diego and his manager for an hour. I kept the phone on speaker this time so that all of the people in my home could hear this conversation. Diego was nice, I liked him. Please give him a raise.

His manager on the other hand, whose name escapes me, told me two different versions of the same story.

Version 1: The 6-8 week processing time STARTED on July 30 so my check should be reaching my mail box any day now. That was last week by the way. It has not. It is now October 10, a solid 9 weeks past the time it should have reached my residence ASSUMING you inglorious bastards waited a cool 6 weeks actually START to process my check. However, before he gave me version 1, he gave me version 2…which makes me think version 1 was to cover his ass…

Version 2: According to our records your check was sent out on July 30, but it can take up to 8 weeks to actually reach your home.

Stop.

I had to seriously stop and ask him this question, no less than 5 times, mind you:

Me: Sir, are you telling me that a piece of mail coming from Comcast takes up to 7 weeks longer with the USPS than mail that comes from California or Montana or Maine. You are telling me that you all use mail carriers that move slower than everybody else? Sir, it did not take 8 weeks to receive a sent letter during the 1840s. And they used mules and horses. Yet, you are telling me, and I’ve got witnesses, that it can take 8 weeks to receive something that has been ACTUALLY sent out from your facility.

Him: Yes, sir. I realize that sounds a bit strange, but yes.

Me: Sir, if you send me a letter from Mexico right now, it will get to me in a week. Two, tops. But a letter from inside the continental USA from a Comcast processing center, takes 8 weeks…AFTER its been mailed. Is that what you’re telling me?

Him: Yes, sir. But let me check again…oh wait, no, it was just PROCESSED on July 30. Yes, that’s what happened.

At this point, I hung up the phone sir. That is the most insane and asinine poppycock I’ve ever heard in my life. Your company is terrible. You all have lied to me and made up stories for a check that I should have received in August. It is now October and I’m waiting. Yet, there is no end in sight.

I hate you more than I’ve hated anything else, Comcast. And yet because of where I live I am subject to your abject failure as a company.

While I know that one person hating you due to being given the run arond amounts to nothing to you all. And in the end, I’ll be waiting until I get your check, I felt a need to let you and everybody else know how much I can’t stand your roughshod crap-ass organization. I wish a pox on all of the higher ups and anybody who makes decisions and sends checks.

I would again, like to recommend a raise for Diego. I liked him a lot. Since I was waiting for his manager for so long we talked a lot. Everybody else can go to hell.

Oh, and what the f*ck is Xfinity anyway? It’s the same damn company. Calm down.

Sincerely,

Panama Jackson

******************************

Make sure you tune in tonight to The Blaqout Show as we talk about Breast Cancer Awareness Month and try not to get too ignant. Check us out from 8-10pm on www.blis.fm/theblaqoutshow or streaming at http://blisonline.streamon.fm

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NEW IMPALA: General Motors Adding Shifts At Ontario Plants

via The Truth About Cars by Derek Kreindler on 10/5/12

Good news for Canada’s manufacturing sector; GM has confirmed plans to add a third shift to the Oshawa Flex Line to help meet demand for the 2014 Chevrolet Impala.

An article in the Windsor Star confirmed the move, as well as the retention of one shift at the Oshawa Consolidated Line, which gets a stay of execution until June, 2014. GM’s St. Catharines, Ontario transmission plant, will also get a third shift to produce six-speed gearboxes.

Under their new agreement with the CAW, GM has promised to maintain the current level employment with its 7,000 CAW workers, and invest $675 million into their Canadian operations. The exact terms of the deal are a secret, but this is a promising start if nothing else.

First Drive: 2014 Mazda6

via Autoblog by Jonathon Ramsey on 10/5/12

Filed under: , , ,

Mazda Makes a Marvelous Mid-Sizer

2014 Mazda6

It's well known that Mazda is working through some corporate challenges at the moment, but the company's second-half news has been, in general, far better than the headlines from the first half. Global sales are up 12 percent, the CX-5 has sold 200,000 units worldwide and U.S. dealers are begging for more inventory. There's also a new factory on the way in Mexico that will assuage the profit-killing exchange-rate woes of building cars in Japan, and the next-generation MX-5 Miata - whenever it arrives - is going to bring an Alfa Romeo roadster with it.

Still, at the moment, it's probably true that there is more love for Mazda - or perhaps there's actually more nostalgia - than sales traction.

The company would like its brand new midsize segment competitor to change that.

So in one corner we have the 2014 Mazda6. In the other corner we have the Toyota Camry, Honda Accord, Nissan Altima, Ford Fusion, Hyundai Sonata, Kia Optima, Volkswagen Passat and Chevrolet Malibu. That is not an exciting list for a car enthusiast, but arrayed en masse it's like Neo taking on the endless Agent Smiths in the playground scene in The Matrix: Reloaded - what the other cars lack in individual character they more than make up for in suffocating, sledgehammer numbers. Example: Mazda's entire export production - that's every one of its models that it sells in every other landmass besides Japan - in August 2012 was 44,495. That same month there were 36,270 Camrys sold in the United States alone.

Continue reading 2014 Mazda6

2014 Mazda6 originally appeared on Autoblog on Fri, 05 Oct 2012 11:57:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Running out of gas, stations in CA now inching toward $5/gallon prices

via Autoblog by Sebastian Blanco on 10/5/12

Filed under: ,

The basics of supply and demand, even in a market as curated as global petroleum is, are fairly easy to understand. Today's example: southern California, where some stations are beginning to run out of gas due to "refinery supply problems" at both Chevron and Mobil, reports USA Today. The result? Prices could hit $5-a-gallon soon. AAA says that the average in California today is $4.486 a gallon, well above the national average of $3.789 and making a run on the $4.61 record from June 2008.

Since some gas stations are no longer buying wholesale fuel, the tanks are running dry. USA Today notes that a Costco in Simi Valley started selling premium (which was available) at regular prices (since that fuel was not available). Another station owner told Bloomberg, "I can get gas, but it's going to cost me $4.90 a gallon, and I can't sell it here for $5. ... My market is open, but no gas." He can't sell it for $5 today, but with California prices jumping 20 cents overnight and 40 cents for the week, that could change soon. In fact, a station in Calabasas was selling gas for $5.69 yesterday, along with signs that said: "We are sorry, it is not our fault."

Running out of gas, stations in CA now inching toward $5/gallon prices originally appeared on Autoblog Green on Fri, 05 Oct 2012 15:44:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Meek Mill – Burn (Ft. Big Sean) (Behind The Scenes)

via illRoots by cliff on 10/4/12

Source: MeekMillTV
Previously: Meek Mill – ‘Made In America’ Freestyle

Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at the upcoming visual for ‘Burn’ with Meek Mill and Big Sean. Expect his DRE Films-directed clip to release soon, as well as Meek’s debut album Dreams & Nightmares in stores October 30th.

The Unspoken But Expected Reciprocation Of Giving (And Receiving) Head

via Very Smart Brothas by The Champ on 10/1/12

Despite the fact that it first aired a few months ago, I’m just now getting around to watching the current season of “Louie.” I’m up to episode four, but something that occurred in episode two addresses an unspoken bit of dating decorum that, well, has remained unspoken for obvious reasons.

Louie’s friend arranges for the newly single Louie to meet someone. They don’t initially hit it off, but after heading to a bar, having a couple drinks, and donning some beer goggles, they start to warm up to each other. They leave in her truck, and after a couple blocks she pulls over in an alley, tells him to whip it out, and starts giving him head. When finished (and yes, she swallows), she sits back up and asks him to return the favor. He refuses, saying that he considers that to be too intimate of an act to do when first meeting someone.

This (predictably) starts an argument where she basically says that reciprocation is expected, and, if he wasn’t prepared to go down on her, he shouldn’t have allowed her to give him a bj. He replied that just because she doesn’t consider that to be too intimate doesn’t mean that he should feel the same way

The scene ends with her basically raping him into giving her head (you have to see it to believe it), but it stayed with me because of the issue it brings up. Much of our dating/relationship lives are governed by certain unspoken but expected reciprocations —  some as small as “If you accept this drink, you’re also accepting (at least) two songs worth of conversation” and others as potentially life-changing as “If I’m monogamous, I expect you to be monogamous too.” And, since these things are largely unspoken, there always remains the possibility that miscommunications such as the one that occurred with Louie will end up with a p*ssy forcefully placed in your mouth.

I guess the easy solution would be to just make certain everything is always explicitly communicated, but life doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes we assume that people we’re dating share the same sense of decorum. Sometimes we don’t make that assumption, but don’t actually think to bring up the subject until it smacks you in the face. And, sometimes we want to bring stuff up, but worry about offending and/or ruining the mood. Basically, assumed social mores has a tendency to make us a bunch of p*ssies. (If it seems like I’m enjoying typing “p*ssy’ too much, it’s because I totally am. P*ssy, P*ssy, P*ssy, P*ssy, P*ssy!!!)

Oh, and as far as oral sex decorum, I’m not sure if there’s a right answer to Louie’s situation. Personally, I haven’t gone down on everyone who’s gone down on me (Is it an damning indictment of my sexual past if just the mere thought of possibly eating out some of the woman who’ve given me head gives me chills and cold sweats? Nevermind. Don’t answer that question.), and I’ve never given head in anticipation of reciprocation either. If I did it, I did it because I wanted to do it, not because I wanted them to do something in return.

Also, Louie was right. Just because a person is ready to suck off and/or eat out anyone who smells good and smiles at them doesn’t mean that the person receiving the head will feel the same way. For some people, going down on someone is only reserved for “special” people. (ie: future wives, former presidents, Nicole Beharie, women who you’re trying to trick into letting you hit, etc) Yes, it’s somewhat hypocritical to accept head from someone knowing that you’d never, ever, ever, ever return the favor, but “hypocritical” doesn’t mean “wrong.”

At the same time, I also do think that Louie’s date had a valid point. I mean, after a certain point in your life (and by “after a certain point in your life” I mean “after your 21st birthday”), you probably shouldn’t be receiving head from someone you’d never, ever, ever — for moral, biological, or “you disgust the ever-living shit out of me” reasons — give head to. At that point, returning the act isn’t so much about the act itself as much as it’s about the principle. This — giving head — is something adults do, and if you’re ready to receive, your ass needs to be ready to give as well.

Anyway, people of VSB.com, what do you think? If you go down on someone, do you expect them to go down on you too? If so, why, and if not, why not?

Also, do you consider oral sex to be more intimate than just plain ole f*ckin?

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

for those folks in the DMV, this Saturday, October 6 is another edition of Reminisce, our all 90s everything hip-hop/r&b/dancehall party at Liv Nightclub in Washington, DC. It’s free before 11pm with RSVP (http://reminiscedc.eventbrite.com) and there’s an open bar from 930-1030pm with no dress code. Come to party, leave to remember. Reminisce. Peep the flyer and FB invite: http://www.facebook.com/events/325601340869364/

Good Read from the Very Smart Brothers: The Intimacy Spectrum

via Very Smart Brothas by The Champ on 10/2/12

As expected, yesterday’s “The Unspoken But Expected Reciprocation Of Giving (And Receiving) Head” sparked some pretty interesting discussion, as there were many separate takes on what constitutes appropriate oral sex decorum. More than anything else, this conversation just reinforced the idea that sex is nothing but an enhanced from of communication, and if you haven’t or can’t communicate certain things to a potential partner, you probably shouldn’t be sleeping with them.

One of yesterday’s more interesting sub-convos had to do with the different (and occasionally arbitrary) levels of intimacy assigned to certain physical/sexual acts. For instance, while some people consider a kiss — even an open mouth kiss — to not be that big of a deal, others consider kissing even more intimate than sex.

***Admittedly, this — considering a kiss to be more intimate than sex — seems counterintuitive. But, when I think about it, there are women I’ve been with sexually — women I was with a long, long, long, long, long time ago — who I wasn’t all that enthused with kissing. At the same time, I’ve either had an intimate relationship or wanted to eventually have an intimate relationship with every woman I was excited about kissing. Moral of the story? Don’t kiss Deltas.*** 

With this in mind, I decided to create a bit of a spectrum today that lists certain physical and sexual acts from “least intimate” to “most intimate” according to exactly how intimate I deem them to be. This spectrum, by the way, will be totally based on how I feel about certain acts, not how “men” feel or what’s “the right way” to feel. Just judgments and assessments from my own dating and relationship life.

Slow dancing and/or grinding

While you can do a touch-less two step with practically anyone — babies, grandparents, your friends’ ex-girlfriend, puppies, the Pope, etc — dancing closer and slower suggests a certain level of attraction/intimacy that’s not shared with everyone. You may not necessarily want to sleep with this person, but it wouldn’t be the awfullest thing in the world if it happened, either. (And, if she puts her hands around your head or neck at any time — repeat: at any time — she does want to sleep with you)

Lap sitting

A tad more intimate than a slow dance, but not as intimate as what’s listed below, there’s no other act that actively straddles the line between “this is innocent” and “this is, um, familiar as f*ck” the way a woman taking a prolonged seat in a man’s lap straddles it.

A lip-to-lip closed mouth kiss

It’s funny how this act serves two completely different purposes. If done at the beginning of a courtship/relationship, it’s basically a guy seeing if she’ll actually let him kiss her or if she’ll pull a Mr Miyagi and move her head away at the last moment.

But, if done while people are already in a relationship, it becomes a continual sign of confirmation. It’s not done to arouse or test, but to basically say to themselves and whoever happens to be watching “Yup. We’re together and shit.”

Fellatio

Putting “fellatio” here instead of a general “oral sex” was intentional. As hypocritical as this may seem, I consider going down on a woman much more intimate than a woman going down on me. This list is all about scale, and even though there’s a ton of overlap here, if I made a list of all the women who’ve gone down on me and made another list of the women I’ve gone down on, I’ve “liked” the women in the latter list a bit more.

(Also, swallowing has no effect on fellatio’s placement on the list.)

Regular sex

What “regular sex” actually means will be clearer in a minute.

Open-mouthed kiss

One thing I haven’t touched on yet is the fact that there are definite cultural differences in regards to the intimacy spectrum. For instance, (generally speaking) it seems like White people don’t regard open-mouth kissing with the same intimacy and/or reverence that Black people tend to. Not exactly sure why this is, but I think it probably has something to do with slavery.

Cunnilingus

Never not fun.

An “adult sleepover”

Defined (by me) as a planned and sex-less extended make-out session that involves sleeping next to each other, the adult sleepover is only done with people you see as a potential mate. It’s basically the woman saying “I’m not ready to go all the way yet, but I still very much want to be next to you” and the guy saying “I like you so much that I’m going to excuse these blue balls you’re going to give me.”

PDA

Of the possible public displays of affection, the most innocent one — hand-holding in public — is perhaps the most intimate. Ironically, the least innocent one — f*cking in public — is also the least intimate.

Unprotected sex

Although this probably should be at the top of the list, there are a couple things below it that I consider a bigger deal than going raw.

Period sex

Umm, moving on…

Anal sex

Although some don’t really consider this to be a big deal and would have already named this on their lists (and by “some” I mean “catholics and Latinas”), since it’s the one heterosexual act I’ve yet to successfully complete — and since, at this point, the only woman I’d have anal sex with is a future or current wife — it holds the top spot on my intimacy spectrum.

Anyway, people of VSB.com, how does your intimacy spectrum look? Is it at all similar to mine, or would you make any changes/additions?

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Don’t forget to tune in tonight to The Blaqout Show on www.blis.fm/theblaqoutshow from 8-10PM tonight as we discuss all things music. We goin’ in. And we going’  ham before the debates.

Popular Hermes scarf designer is a postman

via kottke.org by Jason Kottke on 10/4/12

Kermit Oliver is a postal employee who lives in Waco, Texas. He is also the designer of a very popular series of Hermès scarves:

Kermit Oliver Scarf

How that happened is an interesting story.

The sixteen scarves that Kermit has designed for Hermès represent three decades of work. Kermit takes six months to a year to design each one, depending on the intricacy of the image and the research required. When he finally arrives at a finished composition, he paints it onto a ninety-by-ninety-centimeter square of watercolor paper, the same size as the scarves, and sends it by FedEx to Hermès in Paris. After the design atelier there approves it, it moves on to the production facility in Lyon, where each color in the painting is traced onto ninety-centimeter-square slides and, in turn, each slide is etched onto a silk screen. That is to say, every color requires its own screen, and because Kermit's work is both so colorful and so intricate, his scarves are some of the most laborious to print. They are also some of the most beloved. T. Boone Pickens's wife, Madeleine, and Chase Bank executive Elaine Agather are said to be huge collectors. And while there are thousands of scarves designed by Kermit in the world, they are so treasured that few are ever available for purchase at any given time, and the handful that do make it to eBay sell for $800 or $900. An employee of the Hermès store in Houston told me that when a new design of Kermit's is announced, it usually sells out before it even hits the floor.

(via @youngna)

Tags: Hermes   Kermit Oliver