Why are boys so protective over girls?

via Ask a Fat Guy by Andy on 4/21/11

Veronica from the land of Wichita, Kansas(s) writes:

Why are boys so protective over girls?

Because of evolution, obviously. You need to protect your woman, lest Ogg over in the next cave get his grubby hands with its jagged, broken fingernails all over her supple animal hide-covered loins.

Women are (and we’re speaking in broad generalizations here — while we generalize broads, I suppose) less physically robust than your average man. Women have evolved over the millennia  (all six of them, amirite Christians? — ah, but I already lost you with the “evolve” thing) to be good parents, good gatherers, nurturers, soft hips, nice hair, look good in a corset, high heels, and so forth, whereas men have evolved to be strong enough to protect their family, good enough hunters to provide for their family, and good at hooking up the stereo.

It’s all down to testosterone and evolution. It’s an in-built impulse to protect your lady. It’s an in-built impulse to protect any lady. But if she doesn’t throw you at least a pity flirt afterward, then she’s probably a stuck up skank.

The fact that you used the words “boys” and “girls” rather than “men” and “women” leads me to assume that you’re not of an advanced age. Perhaps you’re still in school? In which case, all those things I said are true, but multiplied several times by the raging ass-kicking hormones and sex hormones (or as scientists call them, “hornymones”) coursing through the bloodstream of every male your age.

But not to worry, because it gets better, Veronica! Why, I’m 30 and I already couldn’t possibly be bothered to move myself to protect my woman. “Is she in danger? …eh. She can take care of herself. She’s an ‘independent woman,’ after all.” So you’ve got that to look forward to.